Bundeslihaha 4: Matchday 11
Westfalenstadion, Dortmund
November 19, 2016
“We won!” Borussia Dortmund cried, snaking his arm around his best friend’s torso as they made their way out of his home, “We won, Effzeh!”
1. FC Köln broke into a wide smile before doing the same. “Congrats,” the Cologne native said warmly, “your boys were awesome!”
“I know, right?” Dortmund laughed, raising his recently-refilled beer glass to the air with his free hand, “And you! Derbysieger! That was f*****g epic, man!”
“I aim to please, Schatzi,” Köln winked, pointing finger guns at the personification of the home team.
Dortmund not-so-gently elbowed him on the side. “Shut up!”
As soon as they were out of the Signal Iduna Park’s parking lot, Köln realized something... Why weren’t they in the dressing room?!
“…the look on Neuer’s face was priceless! Effzeh? Köln? Are you listening?”
“Oh! Um, I…” Köln paused. “Yesterday, at the derby…”
“Yeah?”
“We were on the bench together, right? And then we celebrated with the team,” the Rhine club continued, scratching the back of his neck.
“Oh, yeah, that was fun!” Dortmund said cheerfully, “I can’t believe none of them said anything! I mean, I don’t even look like any of your coaching staff!”
“Well, um –‘’
The blonde puts his index finger on Köln’s mouth. “Zzzt! I’d love to do it again one day. Going undercover makes me feel so badass!”
Köln looked up at his friend, jaw dropped. “You’re not mad at me?”
“Heh?” Dortmund raised an eyebrow, so high it reminded him of Carlo Ancelotti, “Why should I be mad?”
“Y’know,” he mumbled, “for making you watch from the stands with me. And… I wasn’t even close to the Yellow Wall…” He trailed off. Damn, he’d been so unfair… Should’ve bought tickets earlier… Why hadn’t he gotten himself a season ticket anyway?! He’d made a promise to himself to do so since the start of their friendship, for f**k’s sake!
“Oh…” Die Schwarzgelben chuckled. “That.”
Pursing his lips, he looked away.
“If I say I had absolutely no problem with that, are you gonna be offended?”
He said nothing.
“Dude, I’m serious! Relax!” Dortmund replied, bending down to his eye level, “It’s not the Revierderby! And besides, you get to stay the night at my house. This weekend’s gonna rock. I can already feel it.”
Köln’s red eyes met his dark ones, wide and hopeful. “You mean it?”
The older club nodded. “I mean it. We can even cuddle and stuff on my bed if you want to.”
“’And stuff’?” Köln couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s rare.”
Dortmund’s face went red. “Yeah, well, it’s been a long time.”
“Didn’t you and Freiburg…”
“Freiburg?” the taller man cried, “Are you s******g me? We literally broke up four years ago!”
Köln flashed him a teasing smirk as they walked around the bend a few hundred meters from his house. “Are you sure?”
“Dude,” he said flatly, “I can barely understand her dialect. If she asked me to sleep with her recently, I must’ve missed it.”
“Okay, I believe you,” Die Geissböcke replied, taking longer strides to match his quickening steps, “but didn’t you two talk at all when you were lovers?”
“You’re unbelievable,” he groaned.
“Just asking,” Köln grinned. “Do you understand Karlsruhe, though? I mean, he’s–"
“Goddammit, Effzeh!” He cut in, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. “You don’t need to know my whole dating history!”
Köln clutched his heart, mock-offended. “You’re so mean.”
“If you weren’t my best friend, I’d kill you,” he grumbled.
“Thank God I am,” the younger club snickered. They’d arrived in front of Dortmund’s house, but that didn’t mean this had to end… “Hey, Dortmund. Now I can’t help but think you have a thing for Badenians–!”
Köln’s joke was roughly interrupted by Dortmund’s lips on his and oh God this is so good I have to kiss him back, so he stood on his toes and reciprocated the gesture with equal passion, hands clutching the taller man’s back so tightly he felt they would fuse, and just when he thought he couldn’t be weaker in the knees, his friend let him breathe for a second before switching to painfully short pecks, traveling from his lips to his goatee to his neck to–
Dortmund pulled away, heaving, while Köln just gawked at him.
“I prefer Kölner,” the Ruhr club said in between gasps, “they’re better at kissing.” He then paused, breaths slowing with every second that passed. “Uh, wanna go to my room? We can cuddle and stuff.”
The redhead beamed at his offer. “Lead the way.”
The next day…
Köln watched his friend slowly stir, smiling at just how cute he looked without his ridiculous boyband-member-style clothes.
“Ugh…” Dortmund groaned, rubbing sleep off of his eyelids. “What time is it?”
“7 AM,” he half-sighed, slightly disappointed that he had to see the older club fully dressed again, “don’t worry, I just finished taking a shower, so you’re not that late.”
Dortmund yawned. “Oh… good...” Then, as almost everyone (including him, to be honest) would do in 2016, the blonde reached out for the phone on his nightstand, unlocking the screen and checking notifications with deft fingers.
The usual order, Köln might say.
But then, all of the sudden, Dortmund threw his phone against the far wall with a scream, its thick casing the only thing stopping it from breaking into pieces.
Confused, Köln shifted closer to the now sobbing club, pulling him into a hug when he started crying louder. “Dortmund, what’s wrong?”
Dortmund buried his face in his hands. “Just… just read… my password’s 1909.”
At any other time, the Rhine club would playfully mock his friend for the ridiculously easy PIN, but now, he simply did what he was told… And promptly lost his faith in humanity...
Westfalenstadion, Dortmund
November 19, 2016
“We won!” Borussia Dortmund cried, snaking his arm around his best friend’s torso as they made their way out of his home, “We won, Effzeh!”
1. FC Köln broke into a wide smile before doing the same. “Congrats,” the Cologne native said warmly, “your boys were awesome!”
“I know, right?” Dortmund laughed, raising his recently-refilled beer glass to the air with his free hand, “And you! Derbysieger! That was f*****g epic, man!”
“I aim to please, Schatzi,” Köln winked, pointing finger guns at the personification of the home team.
Dortmund not-so-gently elbowed him on the side. “Shut up!”
As soon as they were out of the Signal Iduna Park’s parking lot, Köln realized something... Why weren’t they in the dressing room?!
“…the look on Neuer’s face was priceless! Effzeh? Köln? Are you listening?”
“Oh! Um, I…” Köln paused. “Yesterday, at the derby…”
“Yeah?”
“We were on the bench together, right? And then we celebrated with the team,” the Rhine club continued, scratching the back of his neck.
“Oh, yeah, that was fun!” Dortmund said cheerfully, “I can’t believe none of them said anything! I mean, I don’t even look like any of your coaching staff!”
“Well, um –‘’
The blonde puts his index finger on Köln’s mouth. “Zzzt! I’d love to do it again one day. Going undercover makes me feel so badass!”
Köln looked up at his friend, jaw dropped. “You’re not mad at me?”
“Heh?” Dortmund raised an eyebrow, so high it reminded him of Carlo Ancelotti, “Why should I be mad?”
“Y’know,” he mumbled, “for making you watch from the stands with me. And… I wasn’t even close to the Yellow Wall…” He trailed off. Damn, he’d been so unfair… Should’ve bought tickets earlier… Why hadn’t he gotten himself a season ticket anyway?! He’d made a promise to himself to do so since the start of their friendship, for f**k’s sake!
“Oh…” Die Schwarzgelben chuckled. “That.”
Pursing his lips, he looked away.
“If I say I had absolutely no problem with that, are you gonna be offended?”
He said nothing.
“Dude, I’m serious! Relax!” Dortmund replied, bending down to his eye level, “It’s not the Revierderby! And besides, you get to stay the night at my house. This weekend’s gonna rock. I can already feel it.”
Köln’s red eyes met his dark ones, wide and hopeful. “You mean it?”
The older club nodded. “I mean it. We can even cuddle and stuff on my bed if you want to.”
“’And stuff’?” Köln couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s rare.”
Dortmund’s face went red. “Yeah, well, it’s been a long time.”
“Didn’t you and Freiburg…”
“Freiburg?” the taller man cried, “Are you s******g me? We literally broke up four years ago!”
Köln flashed him a teasing smirk as they walked around the bend a few hundred meters from his house. “Are you sure?”
“Dude,” he said flatly, “I can barely understand her dialect. If she asked me to sleep with her recently, I must’ve missed it.”
“Okay, I believe you,” Die Geissböcke replied, taking longer strides to match his quickening steps, “but didn’t you two talk at all when you were lovers?”
“You’re unbelievable,” he groaned.
“Just asking,” Köln grinned. “Do you understand Karlsruhe, though? I mean, he’s–"
“Goddammit, Effzeh!” He cut in, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. “You don’t need to know my whole dating history!”
Köln clutched his heart, mock-offended. “You’re so mean.”
“If you weren’t my best friend, I’d kill you,” he grumbled.
“Thank God I am,” the younger club snickered. They’d arrived in front of Dortmund’s house, but that didn’t mean this had to end… “Hey, Dortmund. Now I can’t help but think you have a thing for Badenians–!”
Köln’s joke was roughly interrupted by Dortmund’s lips on his and oh God this is so good I have to kiss him back, so he stood on his toes and reciprocated the gesture with equal passion, hands clutching the taller man’s back so tightly he felt they would fuse, and just when he thought he couldn’t be weaker in the knees, his friend let him breathe for a second before switching to painfully short pecks, traveling from his lips to his goatee to his neck to–
Dortmund pulled away, heaving, while Köln just gawked at him.
“I prefer Kölner,” the Ruhr club said in between gasps, “they’re better at kissing.” He then paused, breaths slowing with every second that passed. “Uh, wanna go to my room? We can cuddle and stuff.”
The redhead beamed at his offer. “Lead the way.”
The next day…
Köln watched his friend slowly stir, smiling at just how cute he looked without his ridiculous boyband-member-style clothes.
“Ugh…” Dortmund groaned, rubbing sleep off of his eyelids. “What time is it?”
“7 AM,” he half-sighed, slightly disappointed that he had to see the older club fully dressed again, “don’t worry, I just finished taking a shower, so you’re not that late.”
Dortmund yawned. “Oh… good...” Then, as almost everyone (including him, to be honest) would do in 2016, the blonde reached out for the phone on his nightstand, unlocking the screen and checking notifications with deft fingers.
The usual order, Köln might say.
But then, all of the sudden, Dortmund threw his phone against the far wall with a scream, its thick casing the only thing stopping it from breaking into pieces.
Confused, Köln shifted closer to the now sobbing club, pulling him into a hug when he started crying louder. “Dortmund, what’s wrong?”
Dortmund buried his face in his hands. “Just… just read… my password’s 1909.”
At any other time, the Rhine club would playfully mock his friend for the ridiculously easy PIN, but now, he simply did what he was told… And promptly lost his faith in humanity...
|
Read all 80 comments Konigsblau04 Great job, Zecken! #RIPBundesliga stpauli_1910 #RIPbundesliga dyncmodresden #RIPBundesliga SterndesSuedens Congrats for giving Red Bull 1st place lol sechzig.and.i.know.it butthurt? @SterndesSuedens Karlsruh_ german football is dead #prozweiteliga GoodCannstatt #RIPBundesliga WasZumRoteTeufel #RIPBundesliga F**K U @echtelieber rotebullenschweine hey thanks @echtelieber! #geschichteschreiben #ripbundesliga #deutschermeister2k17 eisernunion1966 #RIPBundesliga |
|
After a few minutes of scrolling and holding back profanities, he went back to Dortmund’s side. “Should I block them?”
Dortmund’s answer came in the form of a blanket-muffled ‘No’.
“No?” Köln asked.
“No, they’ll probably shut up tomorrow,” his friend sighed, more clearly now as he’d put his covers away from his face, “but thanks, Effzeh.”
“Anytime.”
BONUS
I wanted to draw the kissing scene from the chapter, but I thought it’s cuter if Koeln sits on BVB’s lap… So yeah. Here it is. It’s also a cell-shading practice, so pardon the weird colouring!
Dortmund’s answer came in the form of a blanket-muffled ‘No’.
“No?” Köln asked.
“No, they’ll probably shut up tomorrow,” his friend sighed, more clearly now as he’d put his covers away from his face, “but thanks, Effzeh.”
“Anytime.”
BONUS
I wanted to draw the kissing scene from the chapter, but I thought it’s cuter if Koeln sits on BVB’s lap… So yeah. Here it is. It’s also a cell-shading practice, so pardon the weird colouring!
